首先想到這是兒童書,語言應該比較簡單,所以翻譯時會提醒自己不要用太過深奧的字眼。所以開始前,想上網找其他童書翻譯看看,可惜旅店上網不太方便,因此沒有找到。
網上查詢,此書讀者對象是九到十歲的孩子,因此,用詞可以深一點。
一直苦惱如何翻譯Snakey,尤其聽到別組名字翻得那麼好,覺得很丟臉,為了誠實,也不能超用別人的(真是誠實的孩子,讚!)
翻譯該採取異化還是歸化,名字的處理方式,姓,採用中國人姓氏;而名字則保留英文名字的音譯。
兩個人做,雖然偶爾會意見不合,甚至要放棄自己的譯本,但兩個腦袋總比一人好。互相幫助,結合各自的專長。郁惠的專長是可以寫的比較口語化,較接近兒童口吻。我則可以幫忙申稿,盡量減少語法和用字上的錯誤。
另外,從今天上課老師的分析,發現翻譯童書的自由度挺大的,有需要時,可以不按照原文次序,甚至用字翻譯。只要記住目的是向兒童傳遞故事的內容。以後翻譯童書,我會提醒自己。
還有避免,用一些比較大人的字。還有,注意書中每位孩子的性格,童書中的人物往往性格非常鮮明,翻譯他們的對話時,要注意。
以前總是覺得自己雖然年紀不輕,但思想還是很小孩。翻譯時,才發現離小孩的歲月真的有點遙遠了,都不太會模仿小孩子說話。若繼續從事童書翻譯,要多閱讀兒童書籍,留意小朋友的對話。
喔,還有,翻譯時,一定要看圖檔,即本身那本書,不要一味只看文件檔埋頭翻譯,這樣會錯過許多重要的資訊。
頁 |
原文 |
譯文 |
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Today Was a Terrible Day |
今天真是個糟糕的一天 |
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Written by Patricia Reilly Giff |
作者: 派翠希亞‧瑞莉‧吉芙 |
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Illustrated by Susanna Natti Puffin Books |
繪圖:蘇珊娜‧納笛 出版社:海鸚出版社 (Pufflin Books) |
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For my sons, Jim and Bill P.R.G. For my parents S.N. |
致兒子:詹姆、比爾-- 吉芙 致父母-- 納笛 |
1 |
Today was terrible day. It started when I dropped my pencil. Miss Tyler asked, “Ronald Morgan, why are you crawling under the table like a snake?” Now all the children call me Snakey. |
今天真是糟糕的一天。這要從我掉鉛筆說起。泰老師問:「莫榮恩, 你為什麼像條蛇爬來爬去?」現在所有小朋友都叫我小蛇。 |
2 |
When Miss Tyler told us to take out last night’s homework, I noticed that my mother had forgotten to sign mine. I quickly signed it for her so she wouldn’t get in trouble. But Miss Tyler said, “Ronald Morgan. It is a crime to sign other people’s names. And you spelled your mother’s name wrong.” All the children laughed. |
泰老師叫我們把昨晚的功課拿出來。我發現媽媽忘記簽名了。我趕緊替她簽上,這樣她才不會有麻煩。不過泰老師說,「莫榮恩, 冒充別人簽名是犯法的。而且你還拼錯字了。」小朋友都哈哈笑了。
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4 |
Later, when Bill was reading he’s in the Satellite group— I got hungry, and my stomach made noises. I tiptoed to the closet and ate a Salami sandwich. But I had the wrong bag. It was Jimmy’s lunch. |
過了一會兒,衛星隊的比爾朗讀時, 我肚子餓得咕嚕咕嚕叫。我偷偷躲到衣櫃裡吃香腸三明治。後來發現那不是我的,而是吉米的。 |
5 |
“Ronald Morgan, is that you chewing?” Miss Tyler asked. All the children looked at me. And Jimmy cried because he didn’t want my sandwich. |
泰老師問:「莫榮恩,是你在吃東西嗎?」所有小朋友都看著我。吉米哭了,因為他不要吃我的三明治。 |
6 |
Then, when Alice was reading –she’s in the Mariners— my group had to do a workbook page. I didn’t remember how to do it, so I asked Rosemary. “Do you even know how to do that?” Rosemary asked. And she’s in the dumb group, just like me. |
水手隊的艾麗絲朗讀時,我們這一組要做練習題。 我忘了怎麼做,所以問羅瑪莉。 羅瑪莉卻說:「你連這個也不會啊!」 其實她和我一樣都是傻瓜隊的成員。 |
8 |
After I finished the workbook page, I wrote my initials on the thirsty sheet and went into the hall for a drink of water. Mrs. Gallop’s third-grade class was having recess, and I stood in line with them. “Hi, Johnny,” I said, and he said hi to me. |
寫完後,在喝水簽名板寫下我的名字,然後到走廊喝水。 柯老師那班的三年級生剛好課間休息,我和他們一起排隊。 「你好,強尼!」 「你好,榮恩!」 |
9 |
He showed me how to hold my finger over the faucet. Some of the water landed on the floor. Most of it landed on Joy Farley’s dress. |
他教我玩水的好方法。 有些水噴到地上,但大部份噴到了花喬伊的裙子上。 |
10 |
Mrs. Gallop took me to Miss Tyler and said, “Ronald Morgan may never get to third grade if he doesn’t learn to behave himself.” And I heard Rosemary said,” Ronald Morgan may never get to third grade anyway. He still can’t read.” |
柯老師抓我回泰老師那兒,還說:「莫榮恩再這樣調皮,別想升三年級了。」 我聽到羅瑪莉說, 「莫榮恩根本不能升到三年級,因為他不識字。」 |
12 |
During recess we went outside to play ball. I played left field because I don’t catch very well. Only one ball came near me. I ran for it. |
課間休息,我們到外面打棒球。因為我不太會接球,所以負責左外野。球只有往我這邊打一次,我追了過去。 |
13 |
I missed, and my ice cream money fell out of my pocket.“You just lost the game, Snakey,” Bill yelled. And Tom said, “What did you expect from that kid?” |
可是失手了,連買冰淇淋的錢也掉了。 比爾大喊「小蛇,你害我們輸了啦。」湯姆也跟著說「他還能做出甚麼好事?」 |
14
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When lunchtime came, I had no money for ice cream. I watched Jimmy eat my peanut butter sandwich. He said he’d starve to death without it. So all I had was half of Rosemary’s candy bar and one of Bill’s cookies. |
午餐到了,我沒錢買冰淇淋,只能看著吉米吃著我的花生醬三明治。吉米說如果不吃,他會餓死的。所以,我只吃了羅瑪莉給的半條巧克力和比爾給的一塊餅乾。 |
16 |
After lunch Miss Tyler called the Rockets to the reading circle. I’m a Rocket. Rosemary read the first sentence. And Tom read the next one. They didn’t make any mistake today. When it was my turn, I said, “Sally was a horse.” Miss Tyler said, “Ronald Morgan. That’s not right.” Rosemary said, “Sally saw a horse.” And Tom said, “Some Rocket you are.” |
吃完午餐,泰老師叫我們火箭隊朗讀。 羅瑪莉唸第一句,湯姆唸第二句。 他們今天都唸對了。 輪到我唸:「莎莉是我的媽。」 泰老師說:「榮恩,唸錯了。」 羅瑪莉說:「是『莎莉是我的馬』。」 湯姆說 :「你怎麼會跟我們同一隊啊!」 |
18 |
It was almost time to go home. Miss Tyler said, “I think the plant monitor has forgotten to water the plants again.” Guess who the plant monitor is? |
快放學的時候,泰老師說:「今天的值日生又忘了澆水。」 猜猜誰是今天的值日生? |
19 |
I got up and water all the plants, but while I was doing the last one, the best one, I looked out the window. Somehow I knocked the pot off the windowsill. |
我幫植物澆水,可是到最後一盆,最漂亮的那一盆,我顧著看窗外,分了心,不知怎麼的,花盆從窗台摔了下來。 |
20 |
When it was finally time to go home, Miss Tyler gave me a note. “Ronald Morgan,” she said. “Take this note home. Try to read it by yourself. If you can’t I’m sure your mother will help you.” |
終於熬到可以回家了,泰老師給了我一張字條,「榮恩,拿回家,自己看看,如果看不懂,就找媽媽幫忙。」 |
22 |
One the way home I read the note. Dear Ronald, I’m sorry you had a sad day. Tomorrow will be a happy day because it’s my birthday. You and I will make it happy. Love, Miss Tyler |
回家的路上,我把字條拿出來看: 親愛的榮恩, 知道你今天過得很糟糕,不過,相信明天將會是快樂的一天,因為那是我的生日。讓我們一起期待吧! 愛你的泰老師 |
23 |
Hey. I read the whole note by myself. I can read. |
哇,我看懂了耶!好棒喔! |
24 |
Wait till I tell Michael. He’s my best friend. |
我要告訴我的好朋友麥可。 |
25 |
“Hello, Michael? This is Snakey. Guess what? I just found out I can read. And guess what else? It’s Miss Tyler’s birthday. |
嘿,麥可,我是小蛇,告訴你喔,我看懂了老師的字條。還有喔,明天是泰老師的生日。 |
26 |
I think I’ll bring her a plant. I know she needs one.” |
我知道她需要甚麼--一盆植物。 |
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